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Irritation not required

Have you ever found yourself overacting to something your spouse said? We all do it sometimes, but learning how to catch yourself and redirect is pure magic for your mood and your relationship.

Yesterday morning I was in the shower, and my husband said something I found annoying. It was a silly joke he’d repeated two or three other times over the past couple of days.

My mind went berserk and started spitting out dramatic thoughts. “Why does he repeat the same thing over and over? Doesn’t he know how annoying that is? Does he even think about what he’s saying? Can’t he remember that he already said that 10 minutes ago? Sometimes he just grates on me.”

As these thoughts began to populate my mind, I realized I felt terrible – irritated, cranky, critical, unsatisfied. I was, in head, berating this man I adore because he’d told a joke one too many times. I’d given that one thing the power to sour the start to my day.

It dawned on me that the problem was not my husband, it was me. And this was the best news ever. The issue -- literally one I created in my head – was not what my husband had said, but what I was making it mean. And if I created the problem with my thoughts, I had the power to fix it.

Because I’m a coaching expert, I was able to redirect my thoughts to all the things I love and appreciate about my husband. Before I knew it, my feelings had shifted to love and gratitude – some of the best feelings of all. Morning back on track, irritation not required.

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